Proof Positive is excited to share this blog from Noah Hernandez, a high school intern at Proof Positive. Noah shares how his relationship with his autistic cousin, Sebastian, has shaped his perspective on change, resilience, and thriving through transitions – it’s a must read!Â
Transitions are a natural part of life, yet they can feel overwhelming, especially when they bring uncertainty. As a high school senior preparing to move across the country for college, I am about to face one of the biggest transitions I have ever experienced. My life is about to change in countless ways: new routines, new people, new challenges, and new independence. While I know there will be ups and downs, I am learning that what truly matters is how I respond to those changes.
My understanding of transitions has been deeply shaped by growing up alongside my cousin, Sebastian, who is autistic. Sebastian, like many autistic individuals, thrives on structure and routine. Each morning and night, he follows a specific routine down to the smallest detail. These routines provide him with comfort, predictability, and a sense of control. When something disrupts that routine, it can be stressful and upsetting for him.
Whenever I spend time with Sebastian, our days often include unplanned moments. It might be unexpected food runs, spontaneous activities, or last minute swims in the pool. While I can usually adapt to these changes without much thought, I have seen firsthand how difficult these sudden shifts can be for Sebastian. Transitions that seem small to others can feel big and overwhelming to him.
Being by Sebastian’s side during these moments has taught me something incredibly important. I’ve learned the value of patience, reassurance, and presence. Sometimes, all it takes is calmly reminding him that it’s okay if plans change, that we can come back to them later, and that nothing bad will happen if things don’t go exactly as expected. In those moments, we focus on living in the present. Sometimes all it takes is a quick puzzle break (practicing the Skill of Permission to Play) to help him find his center and reset.
As I prepare for my own transition, from a high school student living at home to a college student living independently, I often think about what Sebastian has taught me. Change doesn’t mean losing stability; sometimes it means learning how to adapt and create stability within ourselves. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to miss routines. And it’s okay when things don’t go according to plan.
The science and skills of happiness remind us that adaptability and mindfulness play a key role in how we experience change. While routines can be grounding and essential, learning how to gently navigate disruptions can help reduce stress and build resilience. This is true for everyone, autistic or not.
As I step into this new chapter of my life, I plan to carry these lessons with me. I will honor the comfort of routine while also accepting that change is inevitable. Most importantly, I will remember to pause, breathe, and live in the moment, because sometimes, the unexpected moments are where the most growth happens.
