When I was young, I was a kick. I was known for making people laugh. I could often be seen writing “smile” on the whiteboard in each of my classes. I wore a tie-dye floppy hat that made people laugh. I enjoyed seeing people smile. I skipped, laughed, sang, and danced through my preteen and teen years.
To be clear, I wasn’t always happy. I had my moments! I sometimes had a short fuse (once, a boyfriend said I could go from zero to 60 in under 5 seconds), but for the most part, I quickly found the bright side of life.
Then came college, graduate school, and my first entrance into the profession. As I reflect on my 20-year career, something became apparent: a subtle but powerful message—being joyful, being silly, overt kindness—these actions convey weakness and naivete. Intelligent and accomplished people are serious. This message was conveyed to me in a thousand small ways, like the time another student told me that I looked too young, I was too “bubbly,” and that I might want to dress differently if I wanted to be taken seriously by the faculty, or when a supervisor suggested that while I was a great collaborator, I was just too nice and I might need to figure out how to be a bit more edgy. Over time, I adjusted. I modified the way I spoke. I adjusted the way I dressed. I changed how many exclamation marks I used. These changes contributed to my career success including promotions and moving up the career ladder. I thought I was thriving.
One night my husband turned to me and said, “Are you ok? You don’t laugh as much as you used to. Where did goofy, fun Paige go?” Wow! I reflected on his comments and realized maybe I was hiding my authentic self. How did I lose myself? How did I lose my optimism and humor? Why were these external measures of success not resulting in my happiness? I realized happiness needed to be my goal.
I worked to reclaim the “old me.” I started to let my humor show. I started to authentically share my thoughts and ideas. Some people loved my authentic Paige, others, not so much. Some interpreted my humor and playfulness as a lack of sincerity in my work. I started to wonder if I was in the right place. I loved the people I served. I loved supporting individuals with disabilities to reach their goals and achieve their dreams in my work as a social service provider, but something was missing. The science that I spent my career dedicated to, Applied Behavior Analysis, was still my passion, but the profession felt like it was squeezing me out. I needed a change.
My first encounter with positive psychology was as an invited guest to Proof Positive’s Learning Institute, where we jumped into the science and practice of positive psychology. Next was to assess my strengths using the VIA Strengths Survey. I learned my top strengths are Humor, Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence, Gratitude, Fairness, and Kindness. That sure sounded like the young girl who liked to make everyone laugh.
I began to leverage my strengths and learned that working within one’s strengths increases job satisfaction. I had been climbing the career ladder, and each rung led to a position that subtly, and at times directly, dismissed my strengths. No wonder I was feeling lost, I was operating outside my strengths!
As I continued to learn more about positive psychology and the science behind it, I was inspired. I began practicing the skills of positive psychology, including gratitude and leveraging my character strengths. I realized that by neglecting my wellbeing and dismissing my strengths, I was limiting myself in being the best clinician I could be.
As I reclaimed my joy, my optimism, my creativity, and my overt silliness, I started to really thrive. Not the thriving of before, with new titles, and new accolades. I was truly thriving. I experienced more daily joy, I was more creative, I was accomplishing more in my work and I felt more connected to my friends, coworkers, and family. I knew that this science, these skills of positive psychology, were making an impact. I also knew that everyone deserved to learn about this and to achieve thriving for themselves.
So, I took a leap. I made a career change and joined Proof Positive, an organization dedicated to increasing the wellbeing of people with Autism. I am on a new path, one that taps into my strengths. I leverage my expertise in Applied Behavior Analysis and marry it with the science of positive psychology to increase the wellbeing of individuals with Autism and their families, providers, and communities. Blending these approaches helps people with Autism thrive. When I flipped the script on my story, when I started from a place of strength, my life changed. As social service providers we must do this for the people we serve. Start from a place of strength and leverage those strengths. Teach skills to support wellbeing and improve the quality of life for people with Autism.
As a behavior analyst, I have an obligation to support meaningful behavior change, emphasis on meaningful. I urge my fellow behavior analysts to consider how the science of positive psychology might help in ensuring we are meeting this obligation. I know there are many skills to teach, that there are interfering behaviors that need to be addressed, and daily living skills that need to be taught. I am not naïve, but are we giving wellbeing the importance it deserves? As a field, we have come a long way, we recognize that learners should be “happy, relaxed, and engaged” within the learning context, but let’s go further. Let’s make wellbeing and happiness a pivotal component, part of the goal and the outcome. Let’s open ourselves up to the idea that Applied Behavior Analysis and Positive Psychology, together, may be better in helping our clients to thrive.
Positive psychology is also effective for our teams. Imagine if we assessed and leveraged the strengths of our team members—if we considered the positions and tasks best suited to their strengths. Imagine what might happen to turnover, burnout, and relationships with our colleagues.
Imagine the outcomes if we prioritized wellbeing for everyone.
